


A Cookie Club

by Waterlillyoz



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, Crack, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Multi, Relationship(s), Slow Burn, awkward nerds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-11-22 21:44:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11389035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterlillyoz/pseuds/Waterlillyoz
Summary: "Akatsuki.""Acca coui?""Akatsuki.""Acooski!""Akatsuki.""A cookie?""Close enough."Or the fanfic where the Akatsuki try to woo you. Otherwise known as The Akatsuki Harem Crack Fic.





	1. First Impressions

    “Oops, I'm sorry. I think I'm in the wrong place…”

    You looked around the room, your face a mixture of shock and wonder. You glanced with suspicion at the number listed on the room. 1408. It was the right number, unless you had written it down wrong. You hadn't doubled checked it at the time as you were in a rush. After already missing several days of your first week, you didn't want to make a horrible first impression. Peering around the room now, you somehow felt that wouldn't be an issue. You had a feeling that the people in this room didn’t care one way or another if you were late or not. 

    “Where are you aiming to be?” A man with spiked-up orange hair and several unique facial piercings asked without looking up from the laptop he was focused on. 

    You shuffled to your feet and looked at the ground. “Uh, the Magic club.”

    “Then you’ve reached the right place, un.” A blond pulled a single red rose from behind your ear. You took a step back and observed the man. He was wearing thick black eyeliner and a fishnet shirt. He brushed a hand through the long bangs that covered the left side of his face all the way back to the high ponytail he was sporting. He chuckled, “The name’s Deidara. I'm sure you’ve heard of me?”

    “Huh? Uh, no, but the banner?” You ignored the now sulking blond as you pointed to the material spread across the doorway. It was simple, so simple in fact that you thought maybe one of their younger siblings had made it. It was also lopsided, so much so that even someone half-blind would notice. It was black with a few red clouds and a single word splashed across the middle in white - ‘Akatsuki’.

    “This is indeed the Magic club. The banner was my idea. It took me several nights to make that. Good, right? This team’s name is Akatsuki-” Laptop Guy looked you up and down, “-and you are?”

    “I signed up for the club but I was under the impression that this was a club for the card game Magic The Gathering,” your voice drifted off as you pondered if he was serious. The banner looked like a child had made it. He had to be kidding, right? You decided to let it go as you took in the scene before you. 

    There were two men near the window juggling, one towering over the other. In fact, he towered over everyone in the room. He had three scars under each of his eyes and his blue hair was styled up into a mohawk. The man next to him was under six foot with straight black hair and long, pronounced tear troughs beneath dark eyes that didn't bother looking up at you. The man with the mohawk was having a hard time keeping the balls in the air. As soon as he got momentum, he got too excited and the balls would smash against the ceiling. As he was closer to the ceiling, he had less space to allow the balls to stay in flight above him. His companion smiled and encouraged him to try again several times, his set of balls staying in the air with ease as he fiddled around and spoke. 

    A woman with a light blue paper flower swept in her short blue hair sat next to Piercing Guy while making a paper crane. Her lavender-shaded amber eyes glazed over you before returning to her multi-colored paper. The table was filled with disproportionate objects and plush animals of every colour in the rainbow. Some had unraveled and others slumped with sadness as if wishing to be whole. On her right was a man with tousled, red hair who was painting a doll. He also didn't look up from his table as he strung the separate parts of the creature’s limbs together. It made you shiver, forcing you to look away. Behind him was a man with short, spiked black hair. The entire right side of his face was scarred. He had a smile on his lips as he shuffled a deck of playing cards. He threw them into his left hand before waving at you with vigorous enthusiasm. You lifted your hand up with a slight nod before your eyes landed on the man in the corner of the room. 

    The aura he gave off was terrifying. His arms were folded across his chest as his intense gaze attempted to hypnotize you. The sun shied away from the corner, almost as if refusing to touch the man. He was in shadows but even from this far away, you could make out the purple eyes that complemented his slicked-back silver hair. This man screamed danger. You compelled your eyes to look back over to Piercing Guy. You wished you hadn't. It turned out that Purple Eyes in the corner wasn't the only one with a look that could kill. You took another step back toward the exit.

    “Like I said, I think I'm in the wrong place.” 

    “Magic The Gathering, you said? You are in the right place. This is meant to be a club for the card game, however these idiots have turned it into a different type of magic.” Piercing Guy narrowed his eyes, waving his hand toward the jugglers. He turned and looked at the rest of the group before chuckling, “or no magic at all.”

    “This… this is magic!” Deidara exclaimed as he produced a white dove from behind his back. He smirked at your widening eyes as you looked behind him, trying to figure out where the bird had come from.

    “Put the stupid bird back in the cage before I boil it and eat it,” Piercing Guy snapped before returning his focus to his laptop in an obvious attempt to ignore the strange people around him. 

    “You can’t do that, Pain! It’s the club mascot!”

    _Pain? What a strange name._ You let the argument play out, only half-listening as Pain declared the club did not have a mascot. You slid over to the cordial man with the cards and the scars. He seemed sweet. “What about you? What is your magic? Do you know any card tricks?”

    “Tobi knows a lot of card tricks. He knows so many card tricks-” he threw the deck on the table with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. A shiver ran down your spine as his voice deepened. His black eyes stared at you, refusing to break contact, “-but I wouldn’t know anything about that.”

    You wondered if it was too late to change clubs. You tried to smile as you backed up once more, easing your way over to the redhead in front of him. 

    He didn’t look up, continuing to weave magic through his fingers as he murmured, “I guess this is a type of magic but to me, it is closer to art.”

    “Did you say art?”

    Deidara narrowed his blue eyes at the groans echoing from each person in the room. You looked around and the others either had their heads in their hands or were rolling their eyes. “Quit it! You’re making me look bad in front of the lady.”

    “You’re doing that all by yourself,” the redhead smirked. Deciding that you might be worth a glance, his dull brown eyes gave you a once-over. Unimpressed, he went straight back to work on his creepy doll.

    “Oh, just can it, Sasori! No one asked you anyway, un,” Deidara mumbled as he picked up one of the dolls on the table in front of the other man. “I wouldn’t really call this _art_ , though.”

    Sasori took his time looking up at Deidara. The right side of his lips twitched into what you could only assume was a smile, although it was more akin to a snarl. Anger flushed his cheeks as he stood with his back straightened to an uncomfortable degree. His eyes didn’t linger for long, flickering over to you with a questioning look. His hands moved with grace and speed, piecing together the lifeless doll parts before displaying it in front of you. It was held together by something, but you couldn’t see what. Somehow, as it danced in front of you, it made you mournful. You didn’t like this puppet, not with its large bowl-shaped eyes. You weren’t sure what Sasori was asking of you as you continued to watch the figure move, but it made you wonder what type of person he was. What type of person would be more interested in playing with puppets than… well, anything else really. His eyes seemed to beg for someone to break the spell he was under and show him what happiness could be. 

    “Art is eternal, wouldn’t you say?”

    Deidara chuckled, molding clay with swift finesse before throwing it in the middle of the room, “Art is an explosion!” 

    Once the words left his mouth, the room rumbled from the small explosion created by the homemade device. Dust filled the area as he looked quite pleased with himself. He looked to you for approval. _An arsonist? What have I gotten myself into?_

    “Please refrain from blowing things up. If I have to pay for the damages one more time-“

    “I shouldn’t have to defend my art, hm!” Deidara cut off the man who was still staring expressionless at his laptop. The two men near the window didn't flinch, continuing their juggling. Sasori continued to display his doll in front of you and the raven-haired man next to him shuffled his deck once more. No one seemed to think this was an out of the ordinary display except for you. If anything, they looked bored with the whole discussion. You wondered if this was a daily occurrence and if you should be concerned with the club’s morals. 

    You didn’t bother to ask what kind of magic the other members used as you backed up toward the door. Trying to make your escape look as natural as possible, you took small steps every few seconds and avoided any eye contact with the group.

    “What are you doing?” The man with the intense violet eyes watched you as you flinched, shaking your head with a smile. All eyes turned to you, at last showing interest at the worst possible moment. “Are you leaving already?”

    “Um, no. Well, yes. I forgot I have something… right now… have to attend,” You let your words trail off as he pushed himself off the wall, arms still crossed as he made his way over to your side, only stopping when he was within touching distance. You tried to push yourself further into the door, scrambling to find the knob. 

    “You didn’t ask me what type of magic I use. I feel hurt,” he pouted, his tongue dancing across the underside of his top lip in a clear attempt at seduction. It may have worked if it weren't for the threatening aura oozing from every pore of his toned body.

    “Uh, what type of magic do you use?”

    “The magic of the human figure,” he chuckled as he slipped out of his form-fitting turtleneck. The first thing you noticed was the thin, black material choker he wore against his neck. The second was his rippling abs that just wouldn't quit. Your eyes lingered longer than necessary as you attempted to imprint the image on your brain for future use. You noticed your mouth had fallen ajar as you continued to reach for the doorknob behind you.

    “That- That is unique, but, like I said-”

    You didn't finish the thought as you burst through the door. With a forced wave, you darted down the hallway. You resisted the urge to break into a sprint but didn't stop until you reached the guidance counselor's office. 

    “I need to change clubs.” 


	2. The Bet

    “What the hell, Hidan? You scared her away, mmh!” Deidara shook his head, his left hand on his hip. He held his right hand out in front of him with her forefinger and thumb almost touching. “I was _this_ close to sealing the deal, too.” 

    “Sealing the deal?” Pain scoffed, “Unlikely.”

    “Yeah, not when she was overwhelmed by my body - that’s why she ran away. I could’ve easily had her eating out of my hands. In fact, she will probably be back once she has composed herself,” Hidan smirked as he leaned against the wall, a smug smile spreading the length of his face. He stroked the side of his body as he continued, “She wouldn't want a feminine guy like you when she could have all this.”

    “If anything, your body freaked her out! Who takes their clothes off when they first meet someone anyway? Ugh.”

    “I don't think she is interested in either of you. If anyone, she is interested in me,” Sasori murmured under his breath. He was concentrating on the delicate features of the puppet’s face, flicking his wrist back and forth with a slim, black paintbrush. Upon noticing the confused looks on the other’s faces, he continued, “She came up to me. You guys had her running for the door.”

    “What? You think she would be interested in you, puppet boy?” Hidan poked his tongue out and gave Sasori a thumbs down before letting a smirk rest on his face. “Face it, pal, she was two seconds away from being mine.”

    “Want to bet?” Pain gazed over the top of his laptop with an air of superiority as he stared at the men fighting in the middle of the room. The rest of the group were now looking toward the club’s leader who allowed the silence to drag out for a moment longer than necessary just to drive home who held the power in the room. He slid his hands behind his head. “I bet I could have her in the palm of my hands by the end of the week.” 

    “ _You_ want to make this a competition?” Konan dropped her paper crane as her hand flew to her mouth to hide the smirk that was growing. She coughed a few times until she could look back at him with a straight face. “ _You_?!”

    “What does that mean?”

    “You are just so awkward. I don't think you have much of a chance.” 

    At the light chuckles echoing throughout the room, Pain growled, “I am not awkward. And what about you? You are a woman. Are you sure you even want to throw your hat in this ring? How could you fight in this arena?” 

    “Exactly, I _am_ a woman. Throw your hat in the ring? How old are you? Seriously,” she sneered, shaking her head as she looked at Pain who had a defiant glare imprinted on his features. “I can play the best friend card. I will have her wrapped around my little finger. Sleepovers, pillow fights, bubble baths. It's all in the best friend card.” 

    “I do not think that is how it works.” This time Pain shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest in an obvious attempt to brush aside the vivid images the blue-haired woman had invoked within his mind. He failed to clear his mind of her words, speaking up once more after a considerable pause, “Bubble baths?” 

    “I like the sound of that!” Hidan grinned, smacking Pain hard across his back and eliciting a grunt of discomfort from the man. He kept his hand in place, ignoring the death stare Pain was shooting his way. “Sounds like you should give up now, buddy.” 

    “Why are you people slithering onto my turf? I believe I called dibs.” Deidara ran a hand through his blond hair, straightening his half-ponytail with a glare. “I'm sick of you guys not taking me seriously.”

    Konan looked over at Deidara for a moment before looking back at Pain. “So, I figure the real competition here is you. Hidan is an idiot and Sasori is creepy. It's down to you and me.” 

    “Are you serious?” Deidara pouted as he looked to Sasori for backup. He may not agree with the other man’s art style but he knew when to join forces with others for the greater good. When the red-head remained silent, Deidara put his hands on his hips with an exaggerated sigh, “Whatever. I’m not even worried. Challenge accepted.”

    “Well, maybe I would like to join in on this little bet,” Tobi smiled from his table at the back of the room as he continued shuffling his cards. He twirled the astrology-inspired pack in his hands with effortless confidence, making the cards glide through the air before landing in his open hand. “I mean, it could be fun.” 

    “Really, Obito? Anyone else? Should we make this a club activity at this point?” Pain looked around the room, eyes settling on the jugglers.

    “Well, I guess it could be fun. If it doesn't interfere with school, I can join your silly game,” Kisame replied while picking up the balls he had been juggling moments before. He rubbed his temple in frustration before sighing and looking to his companion, “What about you, Itachi?” 

    Itachi narrowed his eyes for a moment before sighing. He continued to juggle five balls with ease before noticing his friend’s raised eyebrows. “Well, it’s not really my thing, but I will help out if you need anything.” 

    “What about me?” 

    Pain looked down at the laptop where the voice had projected from. “What about you?”

    “I would like to join as well! It sounds like it could be fun. We hardly ever do group activities in this club ” 

    “Listen, plant boy, I don't think you'll have a better chance than these idiots but the more the merrier. I do enjoy an opportunity to display my dominance,” Hidan chuckled, the sound echoing within the room as the others waited for him to stop. The numerous eye rolls and groans brought his snickers to a halt. “What?”

    “ _Anyway_ , there won't be a competition if she tries to leave the club. After that display, I wouldn't blame her if she ran straight to do just that.” Sasori’s eyebrows scrunched up as he let his accusing stare linger on each of the members one by one before continuing, “Zetsu, anything you can do?”

    “Already on it,” the voice from the laptop cooed, the faint sound of feverish typing could be heard while the rest of the team waited in silence for the verdict. “She has a scholarship with the school... Aha! Part of the scholarship requires that she join a club.” 

    “What kind of scholarship requires something stupid like that?” Deidara scoffed as he leaned against Pain’s shoulder, paying no mind to how he tensed beneath him.

    “This one, obviously,” Pain mumbled as he shrugged the blonde off. “So, Zetsu?”

    “So, I hacked the system and made it look like all the other clubs were full. If she wants to keep her scholarship, she’ll return,” his sinister chuckle was cut off by the enthusiastic cheers from the other club members.

    “Nice!” 

    “Then it's settled. We will see who is the first to land the girl. What was her name again?” 

    “Who cares? Her name isn't important,” Hidan grinned as he walked to the door. “I think I'll get myself a head start.” 

    “I hate that guy. Why is he even part of this club?” Pain snapped before taking slow breaths in and out to calm himself down once more. “Let the game begin. Akatsuki pride!”

    “Stop being an idiot.” Konan rolled her eyes at her friend with a mischievous smile. “Anyway, it's every man for himself and I won't lose.”

    “Good luck,” Pain smirked, raising his hand in a small wave.

    “None needed,” she chuckled as she slinked through the door. “It's in the bag.”


	3. The Head Start

    “You know why I'm here. I've been here every day for the last week. Please, tell me some good news,” you implored, both hands pressed against the table in front of you. The woman behind the desk rolled her eyes as she continued to chew gum with her mouth agape. She typed at a snail's pace, using only her lavender-manicured index fingers. She sighed, giving you the same, sad smile as she had the previous days. You didn't bother to wait for an answer this time. You knew that there was no hope. You were stuck in the Akatsuki club. You took a deep breath. “Thanks anyway.”

    You dragged your feet along the concrete floor, inching your way over to room 1408. The corridor seemed longer than last time. Each step echoed with the sound of mockery as you stumbled down the walkway. The Funeral March tune was playing on repeat inside your head before you realized how melodramatic you were being. You shook your head with a chuckle and opened the door, ignoring the horrid banner above it. 

    “About time! We almost gave up on you,” Deidara pouted, dragging you inside. 

    “I do not know what kind of clubs you were apart of before, however this one requires at least 5 hours of attendance per week. Did you not read the requirements before joining?” Pain glanced at you from behind his laptop with a sigh. 

    “But the rules change whenever they contradict a point you are trying to make,” Konan snickered, slapping him in the face with a paper crane before walking over to you. She pushed Deidara aside with a tight smile before wrapping an arm around your waist. “I can tell we are going to be fast friends.” 

    Deidara growled as steadied himself against the bookcase he had been thrown into, “What the hell, Konan! I saw her first.”

    “Saw her first? What are we, kindergartners?”

    “Welcome back!” The soft pangs of party poppers drew your attention to Tobi who met your gaze with a warm grin. “The others had given up hope but Tobi knew you would return!” 

    “Oh, hi Tobi.” You waved at him with a sheepish grin as you ignored the tangerine-haired man with his fancy Mac laptop. Who did he think he was anyway? He acted like he was in charge of something much more important than he was. _It’s just a stupid Magic club._

    “You think you can just slink back in here and everyone is going to accept that?”

    “Give it a rest, Pain, no one cares. She is here now, that's all that matters.” Konan flashed her dazzling white teeth before pulling you into a tight embrace. “We should go shopping! Don't best friends love to go shopping together?” 

    “I guess so,” you replied, biting the corner of your mouth. _Why is she being so kind today? Was she just having a bad day last time? Is she always like this?_

    “Great! Then it’s settled. Girls night out,” she purred against your ear, still holding you to her chest. One of her hands was twirling in your hair while the other had slipped down and was groping your ass. It surprised you, provoking a gasp, but it wasn't unpleasant. 

    “I do not think so,” Pain warned, placing himself between you and Konan. At her raised eyebrow he stumbled, “Well, you see, because… we already have something planned. Yes. A field trip. A club field trip.” 

    “First time I've heard about it,” Sasori smirked as he ran a hand through his soft, red hair. His sensuous eyes wandered over you with gentle urgency. “However, I look forward to it.” 

    “As do I.” Hidan slithered out from the shadows somewhere behind you and brought your hand to his mouth. Pressing his lips against your skin with a soft moan, he began to kiss up your arm. He reached your elbow before Pain shoved him against the wall. The pair glared at one another while you positioned yourself behind Konan. 

    “You can go home.” 

    “What? Why?” 

    “Why? We do not molest our teammates.” 

    “What? I was talkin’ to her. Right?” Hidan looked at you with a flash of anger and confusion before throwing his hands up. “Fine. I'll leave.” 

    “It’s fine, Pain. He was just being friendly,” you murmured, your hand now entwined with Konan’s. “I'm just not used to so much contact.”

    Deidara grabbed your free hand and rubbed it against his face with a tortured expression. “You poor thing. Mhm. What kind of life have you been living?” 

    “Don't worry,” Konan cooed, tightening her grip on your left hand. “We will make sure you get so much love and attention that you can't stand it.”

    “That's okay.” The laughter that followed was forced but you hoped it didn't sound as nervous as you felt. _What is wrong with these people?_

    “Right. Even so, we are going to Kakuzu’s place. Hidan should still go home. Things are easier when you two are not together,” Pain insisted, amusement reaching the tips of his lips. 

    “Fuck you, Pain. Don't think this puts you ahead or anything,” Hidan snarled as he slammed the door behind him. 

    “That was… unpleasant. I apologize. You should not have had to deal with that.” Pain’s eyes glistened with concern. It was the first time you had really seen him. You had looked at him before, of course, but you hadn't stopped to notice how attractive he was under all those piercings. In fact, the piercings may have only added to the allure. The strange shade of purple that seemed to swirl within his eyes, the harsh tangerine hair that matched perfectly with his milky skin and the firm imprint of his body under his tight t-shirt. You had to admit, this man was attractive. Even if he was also one of the most annoying people you had met, there was something about him that drew you in. 

    He held out his hands in a beckoning gesture and you felt an immense pressure to glide to his side, almost as if you were being pulled by a magnet. Before you realized it, you had let go of both Deidara and Konan and had placed your hands within his. He was smiling and the sight sent a shiver down your spine, but you ignored it as you smiled back. 

    “Should we get going then?” Konan creeped up behind you, her arms circling your waist once more. This time she rested her chin on your shoulder. She poked her tongue out toward the other club members as she dragged you toward the door. “Let's use my car.” 

    “Oh, okay. Sounds good!" You skipped out the door behind Konan, the faint sound of growling resonating from the room behind you. 

    When you made a move to turn and investigate the noise, Konan chuckled, “Ignore them. They are just angry because we got a head start.” 


	4. Meeting Kakuzu

    “What’s with this chick? Does she smell like money or something?” Kakuzu shook his head, rolling his neon green eyes as he rolled out a stainless steel storage container. He pulled out the keys from one of his pockets, unlocking the top three drawers before turning back to the group with a chuckle, “You kids are pathetic. Don't expect me to be enthralled with your new friend. What was her name again?” 

    “I don't know. Her name isn't important. What's important is you not making me look bad,” Pain hissed, tapping his foot against the marble foyer floor.

    “When have I ever made you look bad?” 

    Deidara snorted, “Sorry. Yeah. Never made a bad impression on anyone, huh?”

    “This coming from you, blondie?” 

    “Stop sidestepping the issue,” Pain sighed, pulling Deidara aside by the back of his shirt as the blonde made a dash for Kakuzu. “Just keep your hands off her, understand?” 

    “Why is this even a topic of conversation? I'm not interested in kids.”

    “We’re not kids! Old man, uh.” 

    “Some of you are,” he chuckled as the blonde glared, his eyes wandering over the group. “Some of you are younger than others.” 

    “Is this really important?” Sasori moved towards the center of the group, away from the corner he had been leaning against moments before. His dull brown eyes gleamed with intensity as he looked at the older man before him. “I refuse to lose this bet. Just stay out of the way.” 

    “I think they want you to keep the past in the past. They’re worried about what you might tell her,” Tobi giggled as he searched the third drawer of the steel container. 

    “I would be worried too. You don't accumulate vast fortunes without attracting an enemy or two. Blackmail is the easiest way to financial freedom.” 

    “What are you even talking about, Kakuzu?”

    “It doesn't matter. What matters is that it only takes twenty goddamn minutes to get here and yet we have been here for over an hour and a half. I think it is safe to assume that Konan has made a detour,” Pain exhaled tapping his foot with voracious force. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, “If that skank sleeps with Konan…” 

    “Skank? Is that what you call her?” 

    “We don't really call her anything. ‘You’, ‘hey’, ‘gorgeous’.” 

    “Maybe you guys should come up with a nickname for her until you figure out her real name,” Kakuzu chuckled as he nudged Tobi out of the way. “Hands off the merchandise.” 

    “Don't you usually come up with nicknames once you know the original name, and after you get to know the person?” Sasori leaned back against the wall once more as he twirled his red hair in his delicate hands. “At least I think that's what people do.” 

    “What do you know about her?” 

    “She…” 

    “Ummm…” 

    “Well…” 

    “She always has books! We can call her Reader!” Hidan shouted as he burst through the door.

    “Hidan? What are you doing here?! I thought I told you to go home!” 

    “Yes, Pain, you did. But I was bored and I knew I would be needed,” he cackled, both hands on his hips as he threw his head back in amusement. 

    “You idiot,” the blonde grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, we can't call her Reader.” 

    “Why not? It's cool.” 

    “We are not calling her Reader.” Pain rolled his eyes before an awkward, tight smile spread across his face. “I got it. Reedie!”

    “Yeah, Reedie. I can dig it.” Deidara nodded in appreciation. “It's cute.” 

    “Reedie. Yeah. It's cute but sexy,” Obito purred, slinking his way to the steel storage container once more, this time to the second draw. “Yes, I can whisper that in the throes of passion.” 

    “Gross. But the name works,” Sasori agreed. 

    "We should make a pact here and now to stand together and call her Reedie. If we all call her Reedie, she can't complain."

    "Really, Pain? A pact? Ugh." 

    "Yes. If we stand together then it will become canon. She will just have to accept it." 

    "Whatever," the redhead mumbled under his breath as he stared out the window next to him. 

    "I'll tell the others."

    "I don't really care what we call her but she should definitely call me master. That really gets me going." 

    Pain’s lavender eyes narrowed as he watched the Uchiha with suspicion before they flung wide open in surprise. “Where the hell are Kisame and Itachi?” 

    “Did they get lost too, mhm?” 

    “This was meant to be a club activity.” 

    “But I was sent home!” 

    “Newsflash, Hidan! It's because we _hate_ you!” Pain growled throwing his hands up in disgust as Kakuzu covered his mouth with his hand, releasing a deep chuckle from behind it. 

    Sasori pulled himself together long enough to pull his phone out, pointing it towards the pair. “Pain, can you say that again? Konan needs to hear this.” 

    “I don't need this bullshit. First you exclude me and then you steal my idea! You're a piece of shit, Pain!” 

    “How dare you?! Almighty punch!” Pain slammed his fist into Hidan’s cheekbone with enough force to push the other off his feet. 

    “Holy shit! Looks like we came just in time,” Konan smirked, holding Reedie’s hand in her own and outstretching her arms in a defensive gesture to protect the girl behind her. “Better stick with me. Boys are scary.” 


	5. Blue Bubbly

    “What happened? Are you okay, Hidan?” You leaned down, brushing your hand across slicked-back silver hair, offering your arm as you dragged him up to his feet. “What were you guys doing?” 

    “Just messing around. No big deal,” he stuttered, glaring at Pain before bringing his lips to your wrist. “Thank you for your concern.” 

    “Just a quarrel between friends, Reedie.” Pain glared down at Hidan, his lip curling as he watched the bleeding man paw at you, clenching his fists into balls as fire fumed from behind his violet eyes.

    “Reedie?” 

    “Yeah, mhm.” Deidara looked from Hidan’s swelling face to Pain’s bleeding fist. “Reedie.”

    “It’s our adorable nickname for our adorable new club member,” Obito had found his way behind you, now whispering in your ear, his hand on the small of your back. 

    “Oh? Okay,” you scoffed, a nervous smile touching your lips. “You guys are too much.” 

    “Reedie?” Konan rolled her amber eyes at the glares shooting her way before leaning her head against your shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. It is a cute name.” 

    “Of course it is, it was my idea after all. But what the hell took you so long?” Pain raised his eyebrow as he wedged himself between you and Hidan. 

    “We took the scenic route,” she laughed, her amber eyes wandered across your skin as she placed a finger to her pouted lips before turning to Pain with a wink. 

    “I asked you what took so long,” he growled, pulling her aside. “What do you think you are doing? Didn't I tell you to stand down?” 

    “Stand down? What am I, a dog?!” 

    The pair continued to bicker in the doorway, Hidan and Deidara adding random quips from beside them. With all the attention on the heated discussion, no one noticed Obito sliding his hand down your back, his other hand circling your chest as he pulled you back into the shadows under the marble stairs. Your eyes widened with a gasp, “Tobi, what-”

    “Shh. Let me take you to another world,” he whispered, fingertips caressing your lips as his tongue danced along your neck. You opened your mouth to protest, which allowed soft lips to meld with your own, silencing your refusal. The hand you had placed against Obito’s chest to distance yourself was now at the base of his thick hair, used for leverage to bring him closer and to deepen the kiss. Your eyes flickered open as a soft moan exited your lips. The hungry look in Obito’s eyes flooded your body with heat as you backed up, trapping yourself against the wall. 

    “We should… The others... We need to go back,” you panted, flustered bewilderment dripping from every pore as you pleaded to be released. Obito smiled before pulling your head back by your hair. He stared at your face for a moment before crushing his lips against your own. You closed your eyes, desire taking over once more as you wrapped your arms around the Uchiha in desperation. When you woke up this morning, having a makeout session with Obito had to have been the last thing on your mind, yet here you were, sucking on his tongue, feeling weak in the knees. _What am I doing? What am I, a schoolgirl? Weak in the knees? Snap out of it!_

    “Reedie,” he purred, his lips sliding against your neck before he nibbled on your ear. The sensation shot intense pleasure through every joint in your body. You had forgotten to tell him your real name. Hell, Obito’s technique was enough to make _you_ forget your own name. 

    You bit your lip to keep from crying out when a soft voice came from your left. “What are you guys up to?”

    “Whoa,” you squeaked, pushing Obito away from you as you turned to the redhead mere inches away from you. “Sasori? How long have you been standing there?” 

    “Sometime around, ‘Let me take you to another world.’ Seriously Reedie, I didn't think you were the type to fall for something so cliché,” he chuckled, his blank, brown eyes glanced at you from the side with a glint of interest as he leaned against the wall, his face in shadows. 

    “Well, that is. I mean, the way this looks. It isn't quite…” You mumbled, pink spreading across your face and touching your ears.

    “Go on, explain it to me,” Sasori sauntered to your side before slouching next to you, resting his head on your shoulder, “Details are welcome.” 

    “But- I didn't-” Flustered, you swallowed hard as you noticed the two men had a hold of one arm each, their eyes filled with something you couldn't pinpoint, but whatever it was, it made you shuffle your feet back and forth with unease. How did you always find yourself in these situations? “We really should get back.” 

    “Yo, what are you two doing?” Your face lit up upon seeing the knowing smile on the bulky man's face as he stood with his arms hanging from the stairs he was holding onto. He towered over the three of you. This was the man the team had told you about. He was the person that lived in this extravagant house. “Don't believe we’ve been formerly introduced. The name’s Kakuzu.” 

    “Kakuzu?” 

    “What did you do to her?” He chuckled, taking your quivering hand and pulling you away from the snarling pair. “Come this way, I have something to calm your nerves.” 

    Obito and Sasori followed behind as Kakuzu led you through a doorway to a built in bar. It was dim, the lights casting shadows over the woodwork as you climbed onto a stool followed by the rest of the club members who had noticed the commotion. Obito and Sasori sat on either side of you, the others crowding behind as you all watched Kakuzu gather ingredients from behind the bar. “So? What's your poison?” 

    “Oh... Something blue?” 

    “Blue?” Kakuzu rolled his eyes as he rummaged through the drawers, turning his back as he created the beverage. “Blue? You are lucky I even have vodka, let alone something blue.” 

    “Thanks!” You beamed up at the tall, tanned man in appreciation as he slid the bubbling, blue drink towards you. You could hear the bubbles _pop!_ as you brought it to your lips. 

    “I don't think you should drink that, Reedie…”

    “Why not?” You wiped the back of your hand across your mouth after gulping the drink down with a giggle, “Another, barkeep!” 

    “What is it?” 

    “It’s vodka.” 

    “So, a Blue Lagoon?” Deidara questioned as he eyed the refill with suspicion. “A Blue Hawaiian? Midnight Kiss?” 

    “It’s just vodka. Vodka and paint- uh, food dye.” 

    “Did you just say paint?!” Pain glared over the counter, his hands on the rosewood bench. 

    “No, I said food dye. It is seriously just vodka, I don't know why she likes it so much,” Kakuzu sneered at the orange-haired man as he slid you a third drink. 

    “So is it an Electric Lemonade?” You twirled a finger in the buzzing liquid, staining your finger blue as you savored the concoction on your lips. “Hawaii Five-O? Or… no, a blue mermaid!” 

    “Woah, Reedie, you know your alcohol.” 

    “Hmm? Those are real drinks? I just thought they sounded cool,” you slurred, twirling your finger for another. 

    “I told you it's not a cocktail. It's just vodka.” 

    “Is it Holy Water?” 

    “Blue Valium?” 

    “Sex In The Driveway? I want to try that.” Hidan winked at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. You blushed and attempted to wink back but just kept closing both eyelids. After the fifth attempt, you gave up and went back to the drink. 

    “Maybe it's a Blue Shark Attack?” 

    Kisame rolled his eyes at his companion. “Too mainstream, Itachi. It has to be a Kinky Blue Ocean.” 

    “It’s fucking vodka, you imbeciles!” 

    “Well, let me try it,” Deidara murmured in your ear as he reached around your waist to grab the glass. He took a single swig before he began to gag. “Good God! What is that?! It's strong. It's awful. How can you drink that?” 

    “It’s amazing! Well, since Kakuzu won't give you a name, I will,” you sighed, waving your hands over the dubious ‘drink’ that was more akin to a toxin than a cocktail. Smiling at the strange, waxy cerulean beverage, you giggled, “I dub thee… Blue Bubbly!”

    “You are a lush, aren't you, Reedie?” 

    “Blue Bubbly,” you gurgled before slumping onto the hardwood counter. 


End file.
